I'm Nikki, a creative old soul who loves tea time, tip-toeing through gardens, mounds of books, swaying to records, watercolors, sunset walks with our three yorkies, and star-gazing with Paul. This blog carries snippets of my life with just us two (five with Rusty, Lucy, & Ethel) - I hope it brings you happiness as you snuggle in with something warm and delicious and begin reading. Enjoy, friends!

the blog!

If I had to choose:

Why Is It So Difficult?

(Before I begin, I’ll let you know now that there are big things happening on this side of the computer. I’m not completely ready to tell you all yet (although some of you already know) but I’m sure today’s post will give you tiny insight. Soon I’ll be telling you the whole story. :))

Why is it so difficult to say good things about oneself? Why can’t one just say, “Yes, thank you so much, I am talented at blah blah blah”?? Why oh why can’t one just have a little bit of confidence in oneself?

Here’s the deal, friends. I’m starting over at something and to be able to do so, I have to become vulnerable again. I have to accept the fact that I’m not super experienced and there will be things I don’t know. I’ll have to ask questions so I can learn. But I also have to accept the fact that I do know some things. I’m more experienced than I think I am. I have more talent than I think I do. But of course, one doesn’t see that when looking in the mirror. One needs to hear these things from one’s biggest fan/best friend/bee’s knees.

I’m sure I can’t be the only one who has their head filled with doubts and an unfortunate lack of self esteem. So what must one do?! Suck it up. Take the big leap and reach for that new dream. It’s going to be so scary (one may or may not have lost sleep over anxious thinking) and it’s going to be difficult (hopefully less difficult than all the scary scenarios going on inside one’s head during sleepless nights). But what’s that saying by the wonderful Theodore?

“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty.”

(Ugh. Why must it be true?)

And one simply cannot procrastinate reaching that dream because of insecurities, self-doubt, perfectionism. etc. Another lovely man just had to remind me of that yesterday when he told me that a key thing successful people don’t do, is procrastinate. Well of course they don’t!! It’s so simple. If they did, they’d never reach their dreams. Wasn’t I just writing about learning new things? (Hi kettle, you’re black.) How can I expect to live the life I’ve imagined living if I don’t simply act? Any time I have an idea or a new dream, my biggest fan immediately will say, “Do it.” It’s so simple. Why do we need to make it more confusing by questioning ourselves and our talents, abilities, strengths, etc? Why can’t we just go for it? What’s the worst that can happen? We fail. We pick up our bootstraps. We try again. The next 5-10 years will go by with or without us – it’s up to us to decide what to do with them.

  1. Nancy McGraw says:

    Oh Nikki, if you have a dream…it is always God’s desire that you reach out for it…even if it is scary. It is not as sweet to succeed without taking a risk to get there! Take it from someone who wasn’t truly confident until very recently. Now I live each day knowing I am perfectly imperfect and that’s the way it should be! I love you dear and I do hope you will continue with your creative craft!

    • Nikki says:

      Nancy you are too nice. This is so nice to hear and I’m so glad you have found confidence!! That’s wonderful!! You are so right – if God puts it in our hearts, there’s a reason why. :) Love you and thank you so much for the support! Xoxo

  2. Melanie says:

    This is my first comment here, and I just recently found you over on IG, so I really don’t know your writing well enough to hazard a guess, but I understand the sentiment of what you’re conveying. To paraphrase Marianne Williamson, we ask ourselves ‘who am I to shine?’ Well, who are we not to? I think we tell ourselves all manner of unjust and untrue things, but once we learn to quiet those thoughts, we are invariably stronger, we shine of our own accord; we believe in ourselves.

    It’s so lovely to “meet” you!

    • Nikki says:

      Ooh Melanie this is wonderful! You are so right and unfortunately it’s so easy to forget. Thank you so much for visiting! I hope to see you back!! :) xoxo