Snowdrops: I Did Nothing

I Did Nothing…

Learning to rest has been one of the hardest things during this, for lack of a better word, adventure.

(Yes, let’s see it as an adventure; it’s just another experience in our life that we can look back and say, “I went through the darkest days, I went to hell and back. And I’m still here. I beat it.”)

Whenever someone asked me what I did on a particularly low day (never inquiring to be rude, but out of caring), I used to say, “I did nothing.” With that tiny phrase came all the other emotions and thoughts that led to the opposite of self care:

I did nothing means I’m lazy. I did nothing means I’m not doing enough. I did nothing means I’m not productive. I did nothing means other people are picking up my slack. I did nothing means I’m a burden. I did nothing means I literally did nothing.

I don’t deserve to rest; I haven’t done enough. 

None of that is true, I hope you know that. You might not though, because depression lies. But trust me, it’s not true. Let’s rephrase and redefine “I did nothing” to also mean:

1. I took time to let my body and mind calm down.
2. I chose to not make plans and to enjoy my home.
3. I spent the day recovering after an over-active weekend.
4. I recharged my social battery by quietly enjoying my favorite show/movie.
5. I spent a cozy day with myself.
6. I took a Mental Health Day.
7. I spent time with my thoughts.
8. I decided my body and mind needed to rest.
9. I took care of myself by taking a nap.
10. I needed to take some time to recuperate.

A reminder to you, dear reader, you owe explanations to nobody. That is also something hard for me to remember, but it is essential that you put yourself first. You cannot pour from an empty cup.

Sending you big hugs and love,

Continue reading more from the Snowdrops series here.