Snowdrops: Realistic Self-Care During Depressive Episodes

Realistic Self-Care During Depressive Episodes

In the early months of my diagnosis, I searched the internet frantically, trying to find anything to help me understand what I was going through, what I was about to be going through, and what others did to cope. 

I was disappointed to find very little besides the typical medical websites with basic lists of self-care (take a walk, try a new recipe, do yoga, etc.) and Reddit where everything seemed doomed to hell. There was little comfort, with very few exceptions (resources which I’ll be adding to the blog soon). 

What I needed was the bare minimum of expectations for myself. When I’ve been in a depressive episode, I’m practically helpless. In regards to energy level, I’m comparable to a tired-out child asleep in the backseat before the car is even turned on. I feel like dead weight. My ability to help myself is close to a two-year-old’s ability. Paul has (kindly) compared those days to him being a single dad to a young, helpless child (never faulting or mocking me; it’s just the reality of the situation). 

If you are someone experiencing a depressive episode, or could potentially in the future, here is a list of things that might require the bare minimum of your energy and ability. (If you can’t do them all — which most days I definitely couldn’t — try to do two things that you think will make you feel more human. This is your journey, nobody else’s.)

1. Drink water.
2. Put on deodorant or body spray.
3. Change at least one item of clothing; if anything, underwear.
4. Use wet wipes to clean yourself if a sponge bath, shower, or bath is too much.
5. Splash water on your face, or use a wipe on your face.
6. Use mouthwash or brush your teeth. I’ve even heard there’s pre-pasted disposable toothbrushes to help with the extra step.
7. Dry shampoo your hair.
8. Stand or sit if you’re lying down. Lay down if you’re sitting. Just for a moment.
9. Stand or sit outside for a few seconds or minutes.

People reading this who haven’t been that deep in the trenches might be laughing at this list right now. Perhaps they have thoughts of, “Why wouldn’t you just shower?” or, “Are depressed people this gross?”

Those were some of the statements I read on Reddit when people desperate for help were seeking ideas on how to simply maintain basic hygiene during the darkness. It breaks my heart for those needing help, that they had to read those rude and ignorant remarks.

If this list doesn’t resonate with you, then you haven’t experienced this type of depressive episode. There are people that have and basic functions are incredibly hard to do, most of the time feeling impossible. I will never minimize anyone’s depression and experiences; we all need to remember there is a large spectrum of depression, and one size does not fit all. 

Perhaps you’ll never need to refer to this list. But, if on your journey you find yourself struggling to simply be a functioning human, don’t feel alone thinking that things as basic as these are only hard for you. You are not alone. And you’ve got this.

Sending you big hugs and love,

Continue reading more from the Snowdrops series here.